i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
