he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
