I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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