Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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