I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
