She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
