I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
