Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
