If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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