SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
