Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wear drunk well.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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