it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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