she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
