that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
