I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
