Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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