Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
