I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
