Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
