We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
