I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
