I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
