And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
