We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
