I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
