Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
