If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
