It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
