i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
