I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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