Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
