Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
