Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize