Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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