This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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