oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
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I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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