Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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