I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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