is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
