I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Couch. On fire.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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