he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
