What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I AM VODKA MAN
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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