i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
