All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
