dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
