Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
