The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
