If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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