i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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