Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
