I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
