wat bout pragnant strippers??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
