dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
