i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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