Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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