You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
