Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
