Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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