People with herpes should wear stickers.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize