i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My life is pants optional.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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